Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.

You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?