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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

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We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

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